What I Learned about Dying Young

Recently during a healing sessions to release energy from my body, I got some amazing insights from my past incarnation as Jeb McDowell, a boy from Shady Dale, GA. I was just a kid when I joined up for the war in 1862 and was dead by 1863. While Jeb was just 13 at the time of his death, he was quite profound and left me some real wisdom that I want to share here. 

Now Jeb is not new to my life. I have known about him my whole life. He has been part of my dreams and memories my whole life as Sally.  Jeb is a promise keeper.  When he left for the war he made a promise to his sister. "I promise to come home." It took him awhile and it took my incarnation, and he did come home-- in 1989.

All along he was part of my childhood in my distaste of girl's toys, girl's clothes and girl's "socialization." In today's more permissive world, I would have been pushed into becoming transgender. Now I am not saying the folks that want to be trans are wrong, it just would have been wrong for me, because I was being clouded by Jeb.  By age 16, I, in spite of Jeb's steering, became a heterosexual woman who has been in love with the same man for almost 40 years. 

This is also not the first time I have addressed getting Jeb from my body. He has been so much a part of my life that when I dreamed, I was always male.  My memories became confused about when things happened, and I began to have Jeb's feelings bleeding over into Sally's life. When I found myself sitting one day in the woods crying bitterly over "my" death, I knew this had to stop. 

So I worked with a woman to help to get Jeb to move on, and he did....but he left his emotional energy in my fascia. Emotions get caught in the body-- yours, other people's and in my case, Jeb's. 

My hip, back and shoulder has been stiffer on the left my whole life. I thought it was normal. Of course, if something has never been different, how would one know if there could be something else? With the help of a practitioner, I was able to release our friend Jeb from my physical body, but not before he told his story. He wanted a witness. Here it is: 

Jeb was born in Jasper County, GA in May of 1850. He was the first child of his young mother and older wealthy father. Jeb's dad was kind to Jeb, spending lots of time teaching him about the world and how to run the plantation. When Jeb was 6, Jeb's mother died having his younger sister, Mary. The decorum of the time required a woman to run the house an act as hostess to society. It was unheard of that there would not be a woman in the house. Jeb's dad felt the loss of his wife too much to remarry, so Jeb's aunt came to live in the big house an act as woman of the house. Jeb's spinster aunt was jealous and angry that Jeb's dad had chosen her younger sister. She was rebuked again by Jeb's dad. Jebs aunt killed Jeb's father by poisoning him. Slowly. It took Jeb's dad 6 months to die. Jeb sat by his bedside the whole time. Jeb and his younger sister were now orphans. 

After his father's death, things in the house changed. Jeb and his three year old sister were put out of the house. They could sleep in the house, but winter or summer, they were to be out of the house all day. The were taken in by the slaves.  Cared for by the women of the plantation. At that time, Jeb made a promise to the slaves to free them when he inherited. Thankfully the aunt could not inherit any of the money or land. She could only live there as a trustee. As long as Jeb was under the age of 16, she could remain in the house. Jeb was to inherit at 16 and would have complete control of the plantation. Jeb understood that the aunt was planning to kill him so that she would be free to live there with Mary until she was married and her husband inherited the plantation. 

Then the war broke out. Jeb joined up and marched off to war, promising Mary he would return to save her from the mean aunt. After Jeb left, Mary was sold to a family as a servant. She was 7. Jeb died just a few months later after being shot in the head. (I was born with a large strawberry mark in that spot) 

As Jeb was leaving me, he wanted to tell me the things he has learned in his life. They are so simple, so deeply true and profoundly simple. 

1. Even though life is hard, it is still worth living. 

2. Even though people aren't nice to you, you can still be kind. 

3. People are not the color of their skin or clothes or hair, they are the people they are on the inside, their actions and their words. 

Thank you Jeb, I still hold these truths in my life. It is because of your life that my life is so wonderful.